Tough question. Ultimately, it’s your call. Most decisions like this have a cost. Legally, you have no obligation to tell your ex about your dating choices unless such choices have an effect on your raising of your children. Morally, I believe you take the higher ground by being honest and open about the fact of your dating as that can help your ex and your children to process the possibility of something serious without it being a shock to any one of them. You know best how your ex will respond and what his/her response will be. As you go through this difficult process, which is especially difficult with children, it is YOU who must make tough decisions weighing the benefits and costs to you and your family. Considering the feelings and response of your spouse is typically a very wise decision. I commend you for doing so. In order to give you a more detailed answer I would need to know other details, like the ages of your children, what caused the split, how serious are you about dating and others.

Grounds for Divorce and hiring a family Lawyer.

A divorce is a method of terminating a marriage contract between two individuals. From a legal standpoint, a divorce will give each person the legal right to marry someone else, divide the couple’s assets and debts and determine the future care and custody of their children. While each state has individual statutes that address these issues differently, the basic principles the states follow when considering requests for divorce are relatively uniform.

In a majority of the states there is at least one form of “no fault” divorce. No fault divorce is a marital termination proceeding where the divorce is granted without either party being required to show fault. In no fault states, either party may obtain a divorce, even if the other spouse does not consent to the divorce. (Please see the table at the end of the article to learn if your state allows no fault divorces.)

Other states require that you give a legal reason in order to get a divorce. These are called fault-based divorces. Each state will have a statute that specifically defines the different types of fault that must be proved in order to establish the requested marital termination.

In some states both fault and no-fault divorce grounds are available. An experienced attorney can help you determine if you should pursue a fault based or no-fault based divorce. Typically, a fault-based divorce is pursued if the couple cannot reach a satisfactory settlement about the division of property, the award of support, or custody of the children and one party wants the court to consider the conduct of the other party when deciding the issue. Whatever the issue, the decision to pursue a fault-based divorce should be based on legal rather than emotional reasons.

Contested Divorce

Before a divorce may be granted, there are usually five basic issues that must be resolved. They are:

1) Alimony or spousal support;
2) Property division; and, if there are children:
3) Custody;
4) Visitation; and
5) Child support.

If a divorcing couple agrees on all five of these issues in writing, they will be granted an uncontested divorce and avoid adversarial divorce litigation.

Conversely, if there is disagreement on any of the basic issues, a contested divorce exists. When a divorce is contested, the couple may proceed through all phases of litigation including trial before a family court judge. The couple may also voluntarily seek alternative dispute resolution methods like mediation or collaborative divorce or they may be ordered by the court to do so. It is important to consult with an attorney before deciding which method is right for your situation.

Divorce Litigation

The actual legal process for getting a divorce varies by state. However, most marital termination proceedings usually include some version of the following components:

• Petition – The filing of some form of petition document formally initiates divorce proceedings.
• Summons & Response – Formal notice to your spouse about your intent to pursue court action to obtain a legal divorce. The response is the other parties’ acknowledgement the divorce procedure has begun.
• Motions – A formal request to the court to order some type of action before the trial. For example, in abuse situations it is not uncommon to file a motion for a protective order or restraining order.
• Discovery – The phase of the proceeding where each side gathers information in support of their legal arguments. It is an important phase in contested actions, particularly if you believe your spouse is hiding assets. It includes depositions and interrogatories.
• Hearings & Temporary Orders – In some instances there are questions or situations that need to be temporarily resolved before the final divorce agreement is reached or ordered by the court. For example, if the couple can’t agree about where their children should live during the process they would ask the judge, during a hearing, to decide. Temporary orders generally remain in effect until the final decision is made at the end of the divorce process.
• Trial – A critical court appearance before the judge where the case will be decided. The trial may include witnesses, friends, financial experts, psychologists, as well as other types of evidence including financial records.
• Judgment – The final decision is a judgment. It is not a verdict in the sense the judge assigns blame to either party. It is simply a legal statement of the judge’s rulings on all the issues in question during the trial, such as custody, visitation, support and property division.

Alternatives for Dispute Resolution:

Mediation:
Mediation is an excellent alternative to litigation that can save you money and allot of stress, couples and their children.  In the mediation process, the partners work with an experienced mediator to reach agreement on certain issues.

Arbitration:
Arbitration is more like litigation than mediation. Instead of a judge deciding the final outcome, the parties agree to use an arbitrator. Each spouse will have their own attorney who will represent each spouse’s interests in the negotiation.

Collaborative Divorce:
Collaborative divorce is a rather new divorce process that requires an upfront commitment to resolving disputes by negotiation, compromise and agreement. If either attorney moves the case toward litigation, both will be disqualified from representing their clients in the litigation. If the parties can’t reach agreement, both lawyers (and their law firms) must withdraw.

Conclusion:

Reaching a final decision to end a marriage is very difficult. Once you  make the decision it is wise to approach the  process from a rational, business like perspective, which is difficult given the emotional issues attached. Working with a Tamarac Divorce Lawyer who is experienced in family law will lower your stress and help you get through the process to begin your new life.

Contact the Tamarac Divorce Lawyer and family law firm, Attorneys practicing divorce, child custody, wills, family law, workers compensation, Parkland Attorneys, Lawyers